Happy holidays to all peoples around the world.
I'm home!
I've had the most wonderful Christmas with my family and friends, full of all the good things in life. I'm so blessed to be back, mostly in one piece, I'm taking penicillin for a systemic strep infection but I'm feeling better than I've felt in a long time. Clean air, good food, music, friends and family all around me, surrounding me with light. Life is a blessing and I intend to life it with this thought foremost in my mind. This journey has changed me so much, I'm me, still bouncy, exuberant and full of joy. Yet I've added so much more to myself on this journey. As this chapter of my life, over thirteen months, closes and another begins I'm determined to walk this path I've set before myself to make the biggest change I can for humanity and our home, the earth. The journey that I walked, bussed, trained and flew is mirrored entirely by what happened within. Looking back, two weeks ago, I was living an entirely different life, and now I've slipped, seamlessly back into my life. Back to old patterns, back to old ways, but something has changed within me. A door has been unlocked and I know how to stand up and turn the knob. To stand in awe and rapture at what's on the other side. A life of beauty, awe and bliss, I can create my life however I wish and I'm determined to make the biggest change I can. I'm so blessed to be home with my amazing family to have so many loving friends and to be alive in a time when I can be the change I wish to see.

I will continue to blog when I feel the urge, I will be gardening while living in Ashland, 5% of my profits will be going to different NGO's that I worked with on my travels. 5% is a drop in the bucket really but it's my way to begin the loop, to start to give back and consecrate all of my actions to God, Humanity and the Earth.

One of the reasons that felt the need to return to our beautiful home nestled in the northwest was for hope. I have been carrying a weight on my leg, that only seemed to be growing, link by link as I saw the poor, sick, and helpless during my sojourn. The disparity in the world is only growing and it has become personal, not something seen on TV, read about or heard secondhand, but my experience. I went to look and came back with so much more than photos. I pray that I touched people as much as they touched me.

I wrote this poem the morning of the 22nd after watching the sunrise above Lithia Park at the Ashland Castles.

Hope

Eyes on the sky,
Waiting.
Wind,
Scented with frozen forests
Tickles past my face
tearing my eyes with it's wild hair
Pushing at my minds clouds
heavy with doubt.
Ears, filled with the arrow sharp song
of the towees and robins
Dispelling the fear of a world unwhole.
Every breath, crisp, clear, cold
Intoxicating my nostrils with its fragrance,
feeding not only my lungs but my entire being.
Tea, brewed to perfection
tantalizes my tongue with its exotic taste
drawing me back
to days spent on street corners
watching life meander by.

I'm the audience, prepared by my senses
to take a leap into the divine dance.
Poised on my rock, ready for the drama to unfold.

The moon set the stage, a white crescent
alone in a deep blue sky.
Then.
Light, Brilliant white light
ascends over the snowy landscape
to lay a kiss upon the valley
Freeing her from the winds cold embrace.
Birds take their cue
singing to the glory of the moment
Light overcoming darkness once again
in the endless dance.

Warmth floods my body
filling me with light
overcoming the doubt
fear
and sadness
from months seeing with eyes unmasked.
This elixir penetrates my being,
through a crack into my soul
it expands
Nectar of life
baptizing my soul
removing the "was" and "will be."
I am here, I am alive.

Darbar Sahib, Heaven on Earth

A full year since I first stepped foot in the Golden temple of Amritsar, so many things have changed, I've grown in ways indescribable. I wanted to have my mind blown and that's most assuredly what's happened. These last months have been especially intense, thus my lack of writing, how to write when I can't even come to conclusions within my own mind. Three more days, then I'll be on a plane leaving the reality that I've drenched myself in for the last 13 months. To be plopped back home during the holiday season, how wonderful. I can't think of anything better :D
I've just had a most fabulous of birthdays, Ben Small ( his blog: http://liminaldivagation.blogspot.com/ )
and I spent a most fabulous day blissed out in the Golden Temple. We napped in grass, soaking up the winter sun, podded(?) peas, rolled flatbreads and listened to the chanting of the Sikh holy book. I'm blessed, if there is one thing to take back from India, it's the sense that our lives are so precious, that we have all the capabilities to do whatever we'd like with our lives. Through these months I've had the whole gamut of experiences, but there is a common thread that stitches the fabric of life together. Whatever one would like to call it there is something there, something un-quantifiable, ever present. It is what augments our humanity, allows us to raise above the world that is so screwed up and recognize that this world is beautiful and our lives are so precious. I've had my real world experience, and in realizing deep within me how blessed I am, I now am going to do as much as I can to make this world a palace for all.
Being in the presence of this magical place is filling me with the highest aspirations for myself and the world. The Golden temple is a model, all are included, everyone's invited to serve, eat, sleep and pray. I'm going to enjoy these moments so that when I can pass along a little bit of this feeling, to bridge the gap between India and the USA, of us and them, you and me, god and humanity.
I'm not such a good writer and I'm especially out of practice, but nonetheless I will try to say this as best I can.
THANK YOU! I'm a product of the world, culture, community, friends, family, and everything in between. I'm 20 years old! Twenty blessed years I've been in this body and I'm so happy for everyone along the way. Have a wonderful time and I'll see everyone soon :D
Blessings from The Golden Temple

My Dream

The bane of an online blogger are crappy keyboards, but I'm going to tough it out so I can write a long overdue post.

My dream is to make the biggest change I possibly can on this earth. This has been my dream ever since I stepped up from wanting to chase snakes around jungles, although I still want it to include as much jungles and snakes as possible. When I came to India I thought I was going to be spending five months traveling around enjoying myself, living it up, expanding my understanding of the world and getting a new perspective on the world. This trip has done that, and much much more.
To change the world I have to change myself. This is the biggest lesson I've received. and now, still on this mission to change the world I'm looking to transform myself. Gandhi said, "Service to humanity is true service to God."
My live has taken a turn towards the spiritual. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama all have the same message. This message goes back, that we are here to serve, to change the world, and faith is the key. I've had such an amazing experience this last year. Now, in preparation to go home I'm looking to gather the tools I need to keep walking on this path. I'm human, but I have a seed inside me to really make a change. In my own way, however it will manifest, I'm going to make this world a better place.
I'm not blogging as much because I'm trying to avoid the computer, take in the lessons of this magical place. So, when I return, I can share with anyone who's interested about the truth I've found about this world. About the path I'm walking and how we can work together to make the world a better place.
Blessings, I'll see most of you very soon :D

Benaras

I'm back in Varanassi, the wildest city of my life. And also the dirtiest, I have another staph infection! Which means that I'm going to be taking it easy for the next couple of days. I'm taking an antibiotic, which should kill it soon. These sicknesses, on top of more sicknesses can be very frustrating. There has been a recent development since the last time I've posted. It's time for me to come home. I've felt homesick for the first time in my life during this trip. It's a bittersweet feeling when I'm so far away. But now that I've decided to come home the turbulence of my mind has finally settled. Now I'm 100% present and going to soak up as much of this wonderful city as I possibly can until December when I'll be returning home for Christmas!
There's a giant cow standing outside of the internet cafe, doing it's best to block the 6 foot wide path that is populated with bikes, rickshaws, dogs and people. India is amazing. My time here in the subcontinent has taught me so much. It's been my school 24/7 for over 11 months... I'm still waiting for my degree.
One of the developments that I've been leery about writing is God, Divine, The Creator, Energy Pervading the Universe, Love, however we chose to label it, all these words point to something greater than the sum of all the particles in the universe. Since I've been traveling I have been exposed to more religions than in the rest of my life put together. I didn't come here with this in mind, I guess I didn't have anything in mind, but I didn't imagine the focus turning to God. How to express these things with words, created in the mind, where the object I'm talking is beyond the mind and ego. All this may sound like a farce, reading my thoughts online like this. But I've come to realize things here that I never put much focus on. like, why are we destroying the planet? Why is the U.S. in the name of capitalism destroying the world in search of material wealth? We are missing something, we are unhappy. We are poisoned, and this poison is leaking out into the world. Metaphorically and physically, we have become a cancer on the planet. Unchecked growth, disrupting the balance on earth. These problems lie within each one of us. We are responsible only for ourselves, but we neglect the things that really matter, the things that will fill us up, make us whole so we can step out of the rat race for material wealth. We want to be comfortable, I'm going to be so thankful for hot water, clean sheets and baked foods. But the extremes that we've taken physical pleasures has destroyed our planet. We are the gold standard around the world, we've placed an unattainable and unsustainable dream in the minds of the 7 billion people on the planet. If everyone lived like we do in the states the world wouldn't stand a chance. We are a part of a giant machine eating away at what sustains us, mother earth. Each one of us is a cog, totally independent from the rest, we can each make choices that will change the planet. We can chose to take the decisions that will lead us in the other direction. I'm not going to come back some raging Anti-US fanatic, it is thanks to our country that I'm here in India at all, but we in the "land of the free, home of the brave" have so much responsibility, we're leading ourselves and the rest of the world along the path of destruction. It's totally our choice.
I want to share the many lessons I've learned but one of the most important is that everyone is on their own path. Who am I to say how anyone else should live their life. I'm sure of one thing, I'm trying to take the poison out of myself so I can change the world in the biggest way I possibly can. "service to humanity is true service to god"- Mahatma Gandhi

excuse me for this rant, I want to post, but everything I have to say is entering into things that might be misunderstood through the medium of the internet. I'm in one of the most powerful places in the world. I've heard it compared to Jerusalem. Every religion is present in a city that has drawn people from the sub-continent for centuries. Still there are signs littering the city written in all the languages of India, as pilgrims come from all over to bathe in the holy waters and to be cremated. This is the first time I've ever felt God within the confines of a human made space. It used to be only when I was out in nature, surrounded by nothing human that I was able to connect with the divine. Now, in the exact opposite situation, surrounded by city, the mass of humanity, crammed into winding cobblestone lanes, heating up to well beyond my comfort zone during the day. Populated with everything imaginable. I want to stay in this amazing place for the next two months, soak it up and share it with anyone who is interested when I'm back.

Report on Ussha Foundation

This is the Report I wrote for Ussha Foundation, the NGO I was working with near Pokhara. I thought I would post it in case people are interested in the kind of work the NGO is doing and my thoughts on the work.


After spending almost a month meeting and working with Bijay, Nirmal, MP and Tusli as well as spending a large portion of that time in Rivan itself I’ve come to a number of conclusions and thoughts as to the direction that Ussha foundation needs to take in order to realize it’s goals of: Supporting the youth through sustainable development, slow migration and create a model community in Rivan, a model to be taken to other villages and regions to improve the standard of living of Nepalis.
Ussha has multiple focuses, a multifaceted NGO with a goal that tackles a very wide range of issues from migration to organic farming. When I arrived in Rivan I was immediately disappointed at the discrepancy between what was said to me and what was actually happening. The focuses as they were described fell into these categories: Fish farming, Tourism, Organic/Biodynamic farming, Youth Empowerment and Computer Classes at the Community Resource Center (CRC).
When I arrived only one of the above listed was actually performing to the level that it was described, Fish Farming. It can be considered as the biggest success thus far of Ussha foundations projects (excluding the work camps that built the CRC), because the community has entirely taken it over, there are 104 members in the cooperative. There is nothing that Ussha foundation has to to until the fish are nearing maturity, then comes the connection with DADO, to somehow get the fish to market, I was explained that the target market is in India. So, when the fish have matured there will be the organization of getting the fish from Rivan to Pokhara. From there the District Agricultural team should be able to take the fish to Mahyana Pradesh. This project is crucial because it is the only project that the community has taken into their own hands. I wasn’t a part of the trainings or in the discussions with the community but I was told that the community specifically asked for it. This is important to remember, the Fish farming was a community initiated project. Ussha foundation must directly work with the community to find out what projects the community wants and asks for. Not what we believe is best.
Fish Farming to-do: Connect with DADO, find out how the mechanism will work to get our 15,000 Carp to their Indian Market. When they are matured and ready to be sold in March it’s up to us to make sure that these fish are sold at a profitable price for the 104 members of the cooperative.
The biggest push for Ussha foundation is to get the homestay program up and running. Rivan in one word is outstanding. The Massive Himalaya towering above the vibrant green hills, a clean fast river, amazingly friendly people and all the necessary accommodations to host foreigners. Running water, toilets and available, well off families. Tourism falls perfectly into the scope of Ussha foundation. What a good way to empower people, provide them with a market for what they consider to be normal. If Rivan became a destination albeit, a small one through proper marketing and direct contact with Tulsi or whoever is the Pokhara coordinator, the villagers would begin to see their home in a different light. Foreigners paying to participate in the normal lives of Rivan will give people a new sense of respect for the place that they live and an incentive to stay there. Rivan could be the poster child of homestays in Nepal. It’s easily accessible, gorgeous, the people are wonderful and there is even a small trekking route! What better than to attract foreigners to our own little Shangri-La. This can be achieved with minimal work, so let’s do it!
Homestay to-do: Create a list of homestay families; organize them into a cooperative like the fish farming so it can eventually be taken into their own hands. Get the pending applications pushed through Nepal Tourism. Organize another group of applications to be sent in and push to get those applications processed quickly. Communicate with the villagers; help organize the cooperative so it can run on its own. Then we can sit back and make the connections, a well run program will sell itself especially when the competition is largely overpriced. With two of Ussha foundations members in Kathmandu and another in Pokhara, with a business it will be extremely easy to connect to the market. The tourist season is just beginning once again. Get moving!
Organic/Biodynamic Farming: I’m not an agricultural expert, but my experience was that people are largely farming organically, even when they aren’t 100% organic they aren’t relying on chemical fertilizers and herbicides/pesticides like large scale farmers are using in the USA. They are only used occasionally when there is a pest invasion or small amounts of chemical fertilizers are spread by hand in the rice paddies. Thus the need for Ussha foundation isn’t to teach organic farming to the people of Rivan like they’re beginners, but empower them to realize that what they are doing is organic farming. One of the points previously brought to me was that people aren’t producing enough food to feed themselves. The problem is stemming from an increased population, not misuse of the fields or bad farming techniques. People don’t see farming as profitable; many people want to go to the cities or abroad to make money. The farming that is being done is to feed their families, but who wants to work from sun up to sun down for food, rather than money.
A question to be presented to the community is whether or not they want support in looking for value added crops to be taken to market. If they do Ussha foundation can find what crops can be grown and sold by the people of Rivan. This is a double edged sword that cannot be taken lightly, if people start growing crops for market they are losing valuable space in which staple foods are grown. Thus this needs to be discussed with the community whether this is something that they are interested in. Bazaar needs fresh produce for its restaurant. The land that was purchased to become a farm needs to be put into production as soon as possible. This doesn’t really have anything to do with Ussha foundation other than another opportunity to provide jobs in the community and the opportunity to train one or two people in Biodynamic and other farming techniques that can be applied on the farm and be taught to fellow villagers. Integrated pest management and proper composting are two big focuses. Of course there are many things that can be taught, but first we must inform and empower people that their traditional methods are organic and many times follow permaculture and biodynamic principles. One example is the villagers stacking of crops. Planting beans with the corn is what was traditionally done by the people that created our modern day beans and corn. Beans are grown in with the corn providing nitrogen to the corn plants; as well millet is planted in with the corn before it is harvested, thus maximizing the use of the land. People are smart, the traditional techniques are tried and true, it’s about bringing some of the new agricultural knowledge and science within their grasp so they can produce even more sustainably and effectively, by mixing the tried and true with new advancements.
Agriculture to-do: Hire people to work on the farm, train them well so they can in turn teach the other villagers. Empower people that they are doing organic farming. Give teachings on new farming techniques and inform people about what are natural fertilizers and synthetic ones. Create the market for organic produce.
Youth Empowerment is a topic that I didn’t get to explore in depth. I talked with many youth but there are many things that are deeper within the culture that I haven’t experienced. Why has it been so hard to find a steady computer teacher? This question has been dogging my mind and I really don’t have a logical answer. The incentive was there, but still it was thrown away by not one, but three people. I hope that the new teacher is more inspired and willing to give it his all. To empower the youth we have to present the resources that the youth want. The community resource center is the center of this work, we have the facilities to create a space that the youth will come to and enjoy. Speaking as a youth myself I feel like the most important things to provide is a space to hang out, meet friends and have fun. How can we create that space? By unlocking the CRC doors and making the resources available to the youth as well as providing fun indoor alternatives when it’s cold or rainy. There needs to be a free computer time where kids can surf the net, play computer games and do research for school, the library needs to be adapted into a youth room, with board games, a kirim board and other things that the kids in Rivan will find enjoyable, talk to them and find out. To empower someone you have to give then a purpose and incentives. Creating a space where the youth can meet up, read, surf the net, play games and just meet friends is going a long way towards that goal.
Youth Empowerment to-do: Create a youth room; find out what needs to be included in the room. Put posters up at the school and around the different villages announcing opening and closing hours. Get a regular worker to open and close on time, clean, organize and monitor. Organize meetings and game days to bring the youth together.
The CRC was built to be a Community Resource Center, while I was there the stark contrast between the name and the big unused building hung over my head. How is the community using this building? Well, at least the outdoor space was being used by grazing buffalo. There is a library, that’s never open. A computer lab with no teacher, and two rooms that are virtually unused, one for storage and the other the communities meeting room. Is it living up to its name? No, most defiantly not. But the solutions are amazingly simple: open the doors, before I left I was told that we’d found two new workers. One to manage the space, the other to teach classes. So if that’s the case much of this doesn’t need to be said. Regular opening hours and making the resources available are key. Creating a space that the community wants to come to and regular opening hours so people won’t be stopped by locked doors will be a move in the right step. Making an enjoyable outdoor space will bring people to the CRC.
CRC to-do: Connect the internet to all the computers, regular opening hours, buy books, and make an enjoyable outdoor space. Work with the community so the rooms can be regularly used by the community and youth.
Ussha Foundations organization is an issue that needs to be tackled. Of the four members only one is actually in Rivan, and at the time of this writing I’ve been informed that he’s in Kathmandu. How will this project move forward if the people running it aren’t able to commit their time and energy? Well it won’t. So my advice is to take care of your own needs before trying to deal with a whole communities. People need to have specific jobs and be held accountable for those jobs. An organization that can’t organize itself will never be able to do anything effectively.
Ussha foundation is built upon an amazing ideal, and ideally it would be working. But it most clearly isn’t, the scope is huge. Focus needs to be driven on specific issues and then when those projects are running, turn the attention to other things that need to be done. Everyone needs to hold themselves and the other members accountable for their actions and work. The project will only work if this is done.
I’ve had a wonderful time with everyone. From Bijay’s house and the Ussha hotel to staying in Rivan with Tulsi’s parents. I honestly want this project to work. The idea is so spot on, but the work doesn’t even come close to comparing. I hope that my time working with everyone helped even if in small ways. I look forward to seeing a full fledged and soaring project when I return.

Lost in the Clouds

Lost in the clouds, of my mind and the mountains of Sikkim. It's raining in the mountain capital of Gangtok. I came here to explore and to learn more about this earthquake that has devastated the state. Here in the capital though it is hardly felt other than the conversations I've had with people who tell me that the buildings were swinging from side to side and that no one had ever felt anything like it in all their times living here. Gangtok is on a mountain side, the whole city is on a Park Street like incline in Ashland. Basically it's steep! I can only imagine what it must have been like to be here during the quake. In northern Sikkim is where the damage has been dealt. Landslides caused by the tremors wiped out entire villages, carrying away everything in their wake. There have been almost 100 reported deaths here, 11 in Nepal, 7 in China and 1 in Bhutan. One person whom I was speaking with told me that the death toll is somewhere nearer to 1,000 but the government doesn't want the real statistics getting out. The damaged areas are restricted, roads blocked by landslides as the army is flying in relief supplies and trying to help the survivors. This is a disaster to an already poor and barely accessible region. I'm sending my blessings to the survivors.
I was in Chitwan, Nepal when the earthquake struck. I went back to Ramu's farm before leaving Nepal. We had gone looking for Rhinos. We'd stopped at one of the park entrance gates, we were talking, sitting on top of two concrete pillars when the tremors happened. I was shocked, being the first time I've ever felt the earth shake like that. But they were only a fraction of what happened in Sikkim.
My mind is lost in the clouds, taken over by forces without. I've come to Sikkim on a whim, rather than stay at my friends steel manufacturing company in Siliguri. Sanjit, we met trekking in Nepal, has taken me under his wing. He's been amazingly kind, inviting me to come and stay with him. To experience another part of India with his guidance and help. But at the same time, Siliguri, a large sprawling city of industry and business, doesn't have much to offer me. Other than wild rides through Indian traffic, so I headed to the mountains to see the famous state of Sikkim, currently devastated by the September 18th earthquake.
The lack of writing as of late is reflecting my conflicted state of mind. I've been having trouble lately, internally, about my direction and what it is I'm actually supposed to be doing with myself. When I left the USA almost a year ago I was unsure of why I was going ,I just knew that I had to go. After wandering, alone, without the support of anything familiar. I've melted, joined with the forces of the world and have been picking through the pieces of what and who I am.
The boat I've been using to ride the waves of my adventure has capsized, and I've been left alone in this sea. Before, the swells would lift me into the sky, giving me a glimpse of where I was going before plunging me into the holes between waves. Now, without my precious raft, holding me above the dark grey waters. I'm just struggling to hold my head up, to breathe air, not water.
I'm still just smiling my way across the country, yesterday I think I made at least 50 people smile. All is good, even if my mind can't seem to find itself.

India!

Well, I'm back in India. My own predicted barrage of posts didn't seem to materialize as I chased paperwork around Kathmandu trying to get a visa back to India. Long story short, somehow I wasn't able to get the 6 month visa due to... actually it wasn't made that clear, except that my information was sent to the Indian Embassy in San Francisco where i first got a visa and they didn't respond or something. So, I have a 4 month visa this time.
At the request of a man I met while trekking I headed to his home in Siliguri, West Bengal. So, I'm still alive and I of course4 have so many stories to write. But I'm not feeling the typing spirit at the moment. I'll be back at it soon enough.